Sorry things have taken this turn. In my experience with my own family, playing the victim gets them attention. They claim to be victims of your actions when in reality they are making themselves out to be victims by their own self imposed bad behavior.
I decided a long time ago to cut ties with my family due to their bad behavior. Many years later I have relationship with my parents, but not my siblings. The reason: I won't put up with their bad behavior blamed on someone else. The only way I eventually got through to my parents was to cut them off completely, no calls, no texts, no emails. I didn't tell them when I moved even.
By your mother telling everyone you are dead you can see the manipulation of everyone she tells. It's all one big manipulation, don't play into it. Walk away, make new friends.